Cells are neither flat nor smooth, which has serious implications for prevailing plasma membrane models and cellular processes like cell signalling, adhesion and molecular clustering. Using probability distributions from diffusion simulations, we demonstrate that 2D and 3D Euclidean distance measurements substantially underestimate diffusion on non-flat surfaces. Intuitively, the shortest within surface distance (SWSD), the geodesic distance, should reduce this problem. The SWSD is accurate for foldable surfaces but, although it outperforms 2D and 3D Euclidean measurements, it still underestimates movement on deformed surfaces. We demonstrate that the reason behind the underestimation is that topographical features themselves can produce both super- and subdiffusion, i.e. the appearance of anomalous diffusion. Differentiating between topography-induced and genuine anomalous diffusion requires characterising the surface by simulating Brownian motion on high-resolution cell surface images and a comparison with the experimental data.